I am grateful for: “every blow…”

Capitoline Wolf, 5th century B.C.E. or medieval, bronze, 75 cm (Capitoline Museums, Rome)
“may u continue to blossom”
he says and sends purple magnolia pictures;
not the white kind with brown velvet under leaves.
After “all that” I’m glad 
this train (of thought) is one he will fail to catch
because he’s a runaway
caboose:
bright yellow, expected to be pushy
while clinging
and not the heavy black steam engine
even though he’s picking up speed 
going downhill
some path of least resistance.
the Preface goes like that
especially
without a switchman.
You wonder, Where’s the f*cking switchman?
I draw a map
that leads to you
trace pencil lines
with finger tips,
cross the mountains
with my mind
an “x” where you live
a red dot where I start
and how the folds soften, threaten to tear
every time I collapse it into my pocket
some streets having totally disappeared.
I get closer with postage stamps
middleman messangering 
delivered through door slots and door chains
and how fast clouds pass on a flash flood day when May shifts from gold to grey 
making the gulls and crows crazy.
I could lose myself in this music,
a mixture of how much it hurts
and how good it feels
i feel you from miles and miles away
welcoming the pangs
luxuriating by suffering the blows
bludgeoned by the in-between times
how slow the minutes pass
how fast the day goes…
my restless sleep
finding you 
awake
but dreaming.
a hot bath drains
the agitated energy of
not eating enough anymore
because you are what i am hungry for
and have me 
stumbling in some dumb 
struck
fog
reporting how  it’s all your fault and I am grateful.
How does one thank you for destroying one’s life?
A man bolted by lightening survives
determined to spend the rest of his time
fastening weather veins to roof tops
and flying kites 
with keys tied to his tethering string
thinking, “Been… Been… Been…”
Until one day, out of the blue~
blue sad
blue sky
and nothing striking 
he puts it all away
and goes back to work and because he still looks 
familiar to his employees,
nobody asks any questions.
He mutters… “she’s still the she-wolf.”
imagines how I would nurse and birth 
the Future…
because after he asked me,
I agreed to take care of the pack…
sow The story gets passed down:
about The Big Bad wolf
and he Huffs and Puffs
knows how to Blow:
teasing a jazz horn
into a drum 
with an irregular heartbeat.
“A woman likes what is clever
about the wolf
not how he inhales his food.”  I tell you.
You say, “Capitoline needs to relinquish the swell of milk from her teats.”
so I know he’s not really starving.  He just needs his belly rubbed.
***
The recorded July 19,1973; Hendersonville by Johnny Cash (Audio) “I’ve been working on the railroad” (Demo version) is being posted here for NO COMMERCIAL PURPOSES.

Johnny Cash I’ve Been Working On The Railroad Lyrics:

Down at the station early in the morning
See the little pufferbellies all in a row
Some folks go to work and others take vacations
One took Melinda to Cal-i-for-ni-o
Oh don’t go Melinda, please don’t go
You didn’t see the teacake I brung you from the fair

I’ve been working on the railroad all the livelong day
I’ve been working on the railroad just to pass the time away
Can’t you hear the whistle blowing, rise up so early in the morn
Can’t you hear the captain shouting, Dinah blow your horn

Dinah won’t you blow, Dinah won’t you blow, Dinah won’t you blow your horn

Dinah won’t you blow, Dinah won’t you blow, Dinah won’t you blow your horn

Someone’s in the kitchen with Dinah, someone’s in the kitchen I know
Someone’s in the kitchen with Dinah, strumming on that old banjo
And singing fee fi fiddle-e-i-o, fee fi fiddle-de-i-o-o-o, fee fi fiddle-de-i-o strumming on that old banjo

Some go to work, and others on vacation
One of’em took Melinda to cal-i-for-ni-a

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